Learn How to Live and Die well

A Personal Archive Of Alternative Minds

The Horror of Nothing

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Couples who have either been together for a quite long period of time or only a few weeks must have heard or said the horrifying nothing to each other on the course of their relationship. This happens, in general cases, when reality doesn’t fit with expectation.

When the partner says nothing happens, it actually means, something really indeed happens. But she or he wouldn’t say a word that something has happened because the expectation is: if you truly and sincerely love me, you must understand me and if I have to use words to describe the nothing, thus, it proves that you are not entirely capable to love me.

This is bald, selfish and immature attitude and adults aren’t supposed to behave as childish as this. Kids, as we all acknowledge, don’t need to use words to express their feelings and intentions because parents know precisely what they want and need.

Remember when we, adults, were kids few decades ago, our parents gave either presents, toy or baby doll, or attention, love, caring etc., without being asked. In other words, we, as kids, got what we wanted without us needed to use words. 

Our parents weren’t necessarily able to read our minds, though we never thought this way when we were a kid. They know what we want and need simply because they wanted to give what they never had yet deeply urged it. or, they gave us presents or caring purely because other kids were having that.

Yet, as adults, we prone to bring our childhood experience of love and attention to our adulthood life. This is disastrous. How can we expect inexperience partner to fully understand us the way our parents did? Unlike our parents, partners are incapable to understand nothing as they lack of experience.

Having to have experienced partners comes with problematic situation, too. Sometimes, it takes years and experiments to be understanding and at the same time loving. Thus, it might be, for some of us, terrible to have to old partner. Likewise, experienced partners had to have multiple partners before they commit to stay with us and jealousy most likely occurs oftentimes as they compare or teat us as their previous.

To be understood is to be understanding that one cannot understand one another without proper communication. First step is to eradicate the idea of love as perfectly complete understanding – as mind reading expectation – to using words and say what bother us so deeply.

Once we accept this thought and develop a mutual understanding that nothing is an ignorance action and words should be used instead, our love life, hopefully, can be as depicted in movies – though love stories are all (most of them) wrong.

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